EVERYTHING is getting a bit heated in the Tory leadership debate, isn’t it?
The contenders have been very snarky with each other, no?
Whisper it very quietly, but I’m not convinced they’re the best of friends.
Summed up, the views the candidates have of each other are roughly the following.
Liz Truss: “Rishi, you’re a pocket-sized Little Lord Fauntleroy with a privileged upbringing and far too much dosh for your own good.
“You’re crap at managing the economy and about as charismatic as an assistant bank manager from Rotherham. No offence, obvs.”
Rishi Sunak: “Liz, you’re a shrieking, deluded nutjob who should be in a secure institution.
“Held down with clamps, preferably.
“Also you’re a Remainer with a weird squeaky voice who, hilariously, thinks she’s the reincarnation of Margaret Thatcher. No offence, obvs.”
It’s all good fun, if you enjoy watching adults spitting feathers at one another (I do, as it happens.)
What’s become pretty clear is that Rishi has little chance of winning over the party members.
First, they prefer their candidates to come from the Right. And Rishi is slap-bang centre.
They also like their candidates to offer something new. And Rishi is about continuation.
And finally, a fairly large proportion blame Rishi for doing the dirty on their beloved Boris Johnson.
Yes, Bojo is still lurking behind the curtain.
A petition to have him reinstated has attracted 10,000 signatures from activists.
If you thought the party was in crisis now, just see what happens if Boris tries to make a comeback.
Sir Keir Starmer must be laughing his head off.
The problem for the Tories is that while Liz is more popular with the activists, Rishi is more popular with the voters.
That means that when Truss wins, which she surely will, she has an awful lot of work to do to win over the public.
But there are at least two or three ways in which she can go about doing just that.
FREEDOM OF SPEECH
First, put at the top of your agenda Whacking the Woke.
That is a surefire vote winner. Get rid of Stonewall from within every public institution.
Make sure schools — and I’d put Kemi Badenoch in charge of education — stop filling the heads of our kids with ludicrous trans propaganda.
Stop the coppers going down on one knee and driving around in rainbow-coloured patrol cars.
Protect freedom of speech. Put an end to identitarian politics.
Stress the things we all have in common, not the cosmetic differences between us.
And ensure that the north of the country gets the investment it was promised by Boris Johnson.
If you want to win those red wall seats, bring some well-paid jobs to Newcastle, Teesside, Leeds, Stoke and so on.
That’s what levelling up means. Give the northern cities decent transport infrastructure. Create apprenticeships for the young.
Those are the two areas where she can really make a difference. Roll back the progressive tide. And make our country a more equal nation.
If she can manage to do that, then maybe we will one day — for the first time ever — have a Prime Minister named after a surgical appliance.
But boy, has she got her work cut out.
MAN UP , PEOPLE
RISHI SUNAK has been accused of “mansplaining” to his leadership rival Liz Truss.
What does this word mean?
The best definition I can find is “Mansplaining (v): the act of telling women something they need to know, bless them.”
That’s from the Rod Liddle Dictionary of Modern Bs.
BLEAK DUE TO LEAKS
LOOKS like we’re heading towards a drought.
We haven’t had much rainfall these last few months. And the reservoirs are drying up.
Thing is, though, this country should NEVER be at risk of a drought.
We’re one of the wettest countries in the world. With an abundance of lakes and rivers.
So, why this crisis?
Because our private water companies refuse to invest in infrastructure.
And our water pipes are falling to pieces.
Did you know that more than THREE BILLION LITRES, a fifth of the volume of water used, is lost to leakage every day.
That is a shocking statistic.
This is just one reason why we should nationalise the water companies.
Our country’s water should belong to all of us.
KNOCK IT ON THE ED
EDDIE DEMPSEY, the half-witted deputy leader of the transport union RMT, lives in a council flat.
This is despite the fact his union pays him almost £100,000 per year, if you include his pension contributions.
In other words Dempsey is taking subsidised accommodation.
In 2015 he visited Ukraine’s Donbas region, where he was pictured with a commander in the “Ghost Brigade” of pro-Russian separatists branded a “terrorist organisation” by Ukraine’s Supreme Court.
Someone on a lot less money would be very happy to have his two-bed flat at a third of the market price.
All this tends to support what we knew already. Dempsey, like his union, is a selfish hypocrite.
IT’S DAFT TO DITCH PRITI
THE word is out that neither of the two candidates for leader of the Conservative Party want to have Priti Patel in their Cabinet.
Priti is the Home Secretary. She’s a hugely talented politician.
Some people don’t like her because she speaks her mind.
And gets things done.
If I were standing for leader she’d be the first name on my list for a post.
DOCTORS have been recommended by the Royal College of Obestricians and Gynaecologists that they use the term “chest-feeding”.
This is so they won’t upset Trans-men who are about to have a baby.
Here’s the deal.
The milk comes from those things we call breasts.
You cannot supply milk to a baby from a “chest”.
And if a trans man has a baby it is already proof positive that he is actually a she, and has been all along.
When is this lunacy going to stop?
QATAR GIG FOR SARINA
BRILLIANT performance by England’s Lionesses to hammer the Swedes and reach the final of Euro 2022.
And that first goal by Beth Mead was a cracker.
The best thing about it all is that schools may at last be persuaded to let girls play football in PE. Instead of netball and hockey.
There is a reason why football is the most popular team sport in the world.
It is easy to play and incredibly good fun too.
Even as a kid I felt it was unjust that we were allowed the glories of football when the girls were standing on tarmac bored out of their minds playing netball.
And congratulations to the brilliant England manager, Sarina Wiegman.
The Dutchwoman has moulded England into a first-rate team.
The Lionesses have already beaten two teams ranked above them – Spain and Sweden.
Those are the kind of results old horseface, Gareth Southgate, seems incapable of getting from the men’s team.
When Sarina has won the Euros, give her a month or two off.
And then put her in charge of the men’s team in Qatar for the World Cup.
And leave Gareth to run a car park in Northampton, or something.